detatched

have you ever felt that you were really part of something?
something special .... something really, really special.

i have.

back in high school i didn't really have that group "group" thing you know.
i felt that everyone was my friend.

i felt that i was accepted just for who i really am. i didn't have to pretend i was just me. an average high school girl who loves to act, loves to crack corny jokes, loves to laugh, loves everything.

at that time i thought, i'd never ever forget them. there'll be high fives when i bump on them on the streets. emails and text messages would be endless. i thought i'd never ever get over high school.

i was wrong. i barely remember some of them. we have no contacts whatsoever.
... i visited my former school just to see how things are.

it's a totally different world.

and i'm not a part of it anymore.

too old to cheat?

oh please?

who do you think you are. freaking tom cruise???

in your dreams man!


how dare you preach about womanizing when you're doing it yourself?
come on1 wake up! ...

if you don't want to die alone you better clean up your act!

start now!

relaxing dealine

i am posting another entry in this God forsaken blog.

deadlines are sacred

yes, sir klink … i know that. i know that …

dealinedeadlinedeadlinedeadlinedeadlinedeadlinedeadlinedeadline

I HATE THAT WORD

i know should’ve started writing my article by now.
or doing my research paper.
or reviewing for the finals.

instead, i chose to write a post in this blog … a not so important one i may say. i don’t know why i am wasting too much time on things like this. i have all the information i need … but i just can’t seem to start.

i don’t even have any idea on how my lead would go. i haven’t even thought of a catchy headline yet. i haven’t strated on my research papers. not even a single letter on that freaking paper.


im so close to deadline … and here i am typing my way to doom.

i’m doomed!


is this really fate. was i really born to be a procrastinator? …

i’m so dead. i’m so dead. i want to cry.



random thoughts are running, running, running round and round inside my head. but none of those thoughts are relevant to my work.

silly thoughts. silly thoughts. … they’re giving me too much headache … way too much than i could bare. i think my skull is starting to crack, i swear to GOD i can hear it cracking.

maybe i should relax a bit. … breathe in and out. in and out … perhaps, listen to a soothing music … a jazon mraz song would be perfect! …


" she's mine, loves her wine in fine dining ... that's right she's mine. she's so fine ... and loves fine dining ... dududrmdumdum"

… yeah … this is relaxing alright …
sitting in this beachside restaurant … feeling the cool breeze on my face, the wind brushing my hair … the smell of the ocean … and this ice cold apple tea … perfect … and … jason mraz is singing and the sound of the waves …it’s like the ocean is singing him … the sun is setting … …he’s done singing now. he went down from the stage, thanked his audience … he’s walking, walking … walking towards me? … o yeah he sure is …

eeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiihhhhhhhhhhhh (sound of record scratching)

so much for relaxing!
i think i should start working now … before i get lost on my delusions

GALISIN SANA ANG MAGNA CUM LAUDE!

GRABE KA NAMAN! ... LAST YEAR MO PA 'KO NINANAKAWAN NG "MGA" PERA AH! ... MULA SA PERSONAL KONG PERA HANGGANG SA CLASS FUND NA IPINAGKATIWALA SKEN ... TAE! ALAM MO BANG LAHAT NG IPON KO NAPUNTA LNG SA PAG AABONO SA CLASS FUND NMEN NA NINAKAW MO!!! GRABE KA NAMAN SOBRANG KAKAPALAN NA YAN AH! ... BKT KSE DI KA NA LANG MANGUTANG???

AKALA KO KASABAY NG PAGTATAPOS NG 2008 NTAPOS NA RIN UNG PANGUNGULIMBAT MO NG MGA PERA KO ... SANA BUMILI NA LANG AKO NG PAGKAIN ... O KAYA IPINANG TELEBABAD KO SANA UN NG NDD CALLS ... EDI SANA NAGAWA KO NA YUNG ARTICLE KO! PUTA NAMAN! ... ANO BANG MERON DYAN SA KAMAY MO AT LAGING NANGANGATI ... KSE NMN PAG MAGBABALAT KA NG GABI BALUTAN MO NG PLASTIC YANG KAMAY MO!

NKA NG TIPAKLONG ... NAIWAN KO LANG YUNG PERA KO NG DI SINASADYA NA HARBAT MO NA AGAD ... AMBILIS MO RING HAYUP KA E NOH!!!

SANA AS IN SANA TALAGA TUBUAN NG GALIS ASO

YANG MAKAKATI MONG MGA KAMAY ... YUNG

TIPONG MAGSUSUGAT AT MAGNANANA AT HINDI

YON GAGALING HANGGAT NDI NAWAWALA YANG

PANGANGATI NG MALILIKOT MONG KAMAY!!! ...

TIGAS NMN KSE NG MUKHA MO E NOH! BAKIT DI

KA KAYA MAG IPON??

AKO KSE HIRAP NA HIRAP SA PAGTITIPID ... SOBRA

NA YAN E!

SIRA ULO KA!

ANG TIGAS NG MUKHA MO!!!

SANA BALANG ARAW MANGYARI SAYO YANG MGA

GINAGAWA MO ... PARA NMN ALAM MO YUNG

FEELING!!!

when you found that somebody else ...

fucking COINCIDENCE!

everything happens for a reason ...
that banana peel you stepped on, that annoying bastard you sat with inside the bus, that greedy jeepney driver this morning, that chewed mint gum under your desk ...

yeah, they're not there just because of coincidence ... someone moved them that's why they are there. and that bastard who moved them was moved by somebody else. and that freaking somebody else was also moved by another somebody else earlier ... so fuck that somebody else!!!

ALL YOU "SOMEBODY ELSE" just freaking die!!! you're the reason why i'm having such a bad day!!! ... i hate you i hate you i hate you!!!! so DIE!!! like right now!!!

...

hmmm, on second thought ... i'm taking it back ...
come to think of it ... i might be the 10th or if not the 15th somebody else ...
so ... nah! ... i shouldn't curse all those somebody else in the world ...

PEACE!!!