GOD wants me to know

from facebook.

Camille got a message that on this day, God wants her to know...

... that happiness has nothing to do with pleasure.You feel pleasure when you want something and you get it. Or when you don't want something and you remove it. Pleasure is always relative. Happiness is absolute. Happiness is the understanding and acceptance of life as it is in this very moment as completely perfect, because every creation of God is perfect. The degree to which you do not accept life in all of the Divine forms is the degree to which you suffer.


REALLY??? huh GOD, REALLY??? ...

well, if this GOD is a DJ and this F*ck*** life is a dance floor I'd probably go to another bar ... or better yet just go home!!!

calm down my stupid self, calm down ... you know there's no need to over react.

...well i know it's not really GOD who wants me to know this ... probably just some "religous guy" who likes to think that he knows what GOD has in mind ... hence likes to call himself a GOD too.

really huh "GOD" pleasure? how about this for pleasure ...

You feel pleasure when you want something and you get it.

you know what i want right now? ... the only damn thing i want right now is peace of mind ... but from the looks of it ... i'm not allowed to have it.

Or when you don't want something and you remove it

and the only damn thing that i don't want right now is this stupid secret. this stupid suspicion .... this damned information. ... i just want to be free from this burden.

but i can't.
because my freedom would cause someone else's misery.
and to bring misery upon someone important, someone you truly care for would be the most heartbreaking thing you could ever do to yourself.

and i can't live with that. but i don't think i can go on like this either .... i cant go any further.
this is only as much as i can bare.

why am i in this situation again?

WHY??? ... am i not worthy of this thing that "this GOD" call pleasure?

apparently i don't need it to be happy ...
if that's the case then why am i not happy?

am i being a damn martyr or just plain stupid? ...
the only consolation for me right now is the idea that i'm doing what i think right.
that i'm choosing to keep this burden because i dont want to hurt anyone else.

i don't know what else to do, what else to think ....

if i keep it to myself ... if i just keep it all inside and try to act like it doesn't exist at all. i'm afraid that sooner or later i will just explode and it would be worse. for me and for them.