take a hike

ATTACHMENT TO SOMETHING WILL ONLY LEAD TO SUFFERING

sometimes i feel like riding random bus ... just let it take me where it'll take me.

i wanted to have an adventure of my own.

one day, just one whole day with myself .... to think, to explore, to re-evaluate myself.

i have always wondered what would it be like to really stand on my own.

maybe on my 20Th birthday ... that would be a great way for me to welcome myself to the so-called "ADULTHOOD" ...

i wanted to see life first hand, without anyone telling me which which is which and which is not.

i want to experince detaching myself to the world i know ... the one i grew up in. i just want to be with me and my beautiful mother (nature) ... some people thinks that hermits are weird ... people are social animals so how the fuck could those beard men live the way they do??? all alone up in the mountains ... dont they have families or friends? ... dont they miss them? ...

maybe they are weird ... maybe no normal person could survive the hermit life ... but you know what? i wanted to be weird just like that. ... they may weird but i think they're courageous too.

they have the guts to stand up and walk away from the materialistic world ... they have the guts to live differently, they have the guts to embrace life ... i wish i have that ...

but i don't. ... i'm scared of being alone. scared of not having someone to depend on when i'm in need. scared of not having someone else to blame when i'm frustrated. scared of missing out on the fun. ... and most of all scared that my absence wouldn't be noticed by the people i love and care about.

... i'm so damn dependent on other people, on earthly things, on things that i thought i need.

i feel like a tree planted in an island in the middle of quiapo. ... everytime a storm comes, i wish it would uproot me and take me away ...

... i want to walk away from all of these ... go and make my own destiny and come back to share it to the rest of the world ...

do i need a college degree to do this? i dont think so

but i need it to make my parents happy.

...

ayoko na talagang mag aral ... kaso kailangan. :(