I've already said sorry for like million times. but let me say it again. I'M SO SO SORRY for ditching you guys. i'm sorry for being caught up with immaturity and wanting to be in the "IN" crowd.
I wanted for the "cool kids" to like me and with you guys around, i didn't think I'd have the chance. i just don't get it. why do you have to be so freaking quiet and nice all the time? i was known to be the boisterous girl, having my name written on the noisy list and being sent to the guidance office on a semi-regular basis, when you guys are actually louder than i am. seriously if you'll only show them how cool you are, i think they'll like you guys too, even more than they would ever like me.
i remember how we used to run all the way up to the auditorium and observe everyone from beneath our feet. our unsuspecting classmates were like little ants down there. we'd call out their names using different voices and they'd never know where and from whom the voices were coming from. they'd just stand there looking so stupid and shouting curses at the people they don' even know. until our teachers hear them and finally know what a brat they really are.
they were the ones who looked stupid down there and we were like the powerful entities whom they could never touch. why did i ever want their approval? why did i choose they're company over yours? well, maybe because i was stupid.
i finally got what i've always wanted. i was in. they tell me things they'd never let anyone else know. we go to malls without asking permission from my parents, and the best part is, i get to carry their bags and introduce them to my sister who is a classmate of that 6th grader guy they're crushing on. how could i ask for more??? yes they sometimes tend to ignore me but that's only when i try to suggest something. ... wait til i make a fool out of myself again, i know i'll get they're attention. i'm good at making people laugh, you know that right.
being with the "in" crowd wasn't half as fun as i thought it would be. maybe at first. but then eventually i got tired of carrying 5 bags make it 6 if you'll include mine, i felt embarrassed by the way they're acting in front of my sister's friend, and i ran out of made up stories to impress them. i eventually missed being me. and i know i can only be that person around you guys.
my heart fell into a million pieces when you said i can't hang out with you anymore. but you're right. i deserve that. after all i was the one who ditched you first.
i missed the silly games we used to play. i missed your loud voice which never fail to astound me. i missed my friends. ... now i've lost them forever all because i was a pathetic wannabe.
being rejected by you guys has taught me very valuable lesson though. NEVER TO DITCH A FRIEND just to please the crowd.
not a true story! ... half of the content were imagined and the other half exaggerated just because i wanted to.
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