Oh .... wait ... It's mine ... hahaha =) ...

Thursday, October 28, 2010

random BLAHs in bullet form part II

  • I am so super bored.
    • I deleted my facebook.
      • I did it so my parents would stop complaining about me spending all my time on facebook.
        • I don’t know why but it kinda felt good.
      • I’m surprisingly not missing it.
        • Not even a bit.
    • I deleted my twitter
      • I managed to stay off the internet for 3 straight days. But then twitter lured me into going online again.
      • I realized something …. Fortitude is not part of my values.
        • Well actually a friend pointed that out.
          • HAHA thank you.
    • I asked my best friend to change my email password
      • I don’t know … I just got the hang of deleting things
        • I was so close to deleting my yahoo email but then I realized that email is important … so I just had her change the password instead.
          • I’ll have my email back when classes resume.

    • I ‘ve decided to write unplayed piano for nanowrimo.
      • I haven’t named any of the characters yet
      • I need five cool names for my kingdoms
      • I’ve wasted a lot time.
        • Time that could’ve been spent making outline or thinking of cool names or world building ….

    • I’m having an awesome hair week.
      • I don’t know why … my hair just looks good this week,
      • I hope it’ll still be awesome tomorrow.

    • Sem break is making me bi-polar.
      • This happened to me last summer
      • Boredom is a BITCH!!!

    • I had a terrible dream.
      • I guess it was the universe’s way of telling me to wake up.
        • It practically texted me … DREAM ON BITCH!!!
        • The universe’s version of bitch-slap really hurts!

    • My cooking isn’t that great. L
      • I make decent home cooked meals … kinda like how mothers do it.
        • It’s just sad that … that’s just it.
        • There’s nothing special about it.
          • I wanna enroll in a culinary school
            • I couldn’t afford it even if I pawn my soul to the devil
              • He probably wouldn’t want it anyway.

    • Who the hell on earth gets depressed after watching how I met your mother???
      • I’m beginning to think that I have a serious mental condition.
      • It’s a sitcom … IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY
        • But it was funny
          • I don’t know why I’m being such an emo over it …
            • I’m so lame

    • Rain helps in clearing my cluttered brain.
      • It really does. I just have to remember one important thing.
        • If I feel like walking in the rain I have make sure my shirt isn’t white.
          • That was the second most embarrassing moment of my life.

    • I’m broke.
      • I wanna go out but I can’t.
      • I hope it’ll rain cash.

    • I have an awful lot of drafts before this blog posts.
      • I fucking complain a lot.
      • I’m convinced that if I was another person I wouldn’t be friends with myself!
        • I’m such a whiner. … damn it.

    • Brenda of survivor Nicaragua is gorgeous.
      • GEORGEOUS!!!! That’s it.

    • Morgan + Garcia = NO NO
      • No no no no no no.

    • 6 more days.
      • Can’t wait for school to start again
      • 6 more days and I guess I’ll be ok.
      • Will I be ok?
        • I don’t know.

    • I think I’m …..
      • Gonna end this BLAH.
      • Before I say anything stupid.
      • I mean something even more stupid than this post.

    I MISS MY FRIENDS … I MISS MY BEST FRIENDS …

    I miss Hannah …. Guess that over night would have to wait another sem

    I miss D12 hopefully the much awaited reunion will finally happen on march.

    I miss Mads and Nikki … can’t wait for us to be that awesome little trio again (well at least awesome in our own little way)

    I miss Mads, Nikki and kuya john … I miss our underground society …

    I miss Hannah and kuya Dan … I miss hanging out with them.

    I miss Bennylyn … she hasn’t told me anything about her plot yet.

    I miss JS3 … I miss my second family …

    I miss ma’am Cora.

    I miss Manila Times.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

insanity

kanina pa 'ko nag iisip ng salita na pwedeng mag describe sa sem na 'to.

...

wala akong maisip.

sa dalawa't kalahating taon ko sa times ... masasabi kong ngayon lang ako nagkaroon ng problema.
i mean, yung sarili kong problema ... hindi lang basta distraction.

personal na problema ... nakakatawa lang.

I almost drifted away from two of the most important people in my life. ... nakakalungkot.
last year kse naramdaman ko yung feeling na ayaw kong malayo dun sa dalawang tao na yun nang mas matagal pa isang weekend. gusto ko lang sila kasama, kausap ....
gusto ko lang marinig kung ano bang sasabihin nila, ano bang problema nila ... willing akong makinig. ... sabi ko hindi ako mapapagod.

bakit?? ... syempre, kaibigan ko sila e.

pero ... napagod ako. dumating ako sa punto na wala na lang akong gustong pakinggan.
wala na lang akong ibang gustong intindihin.
basta napagod lang ako.

masyado lang siguro akong naging paranoid. ... ewan ko ba.

trust ... yun lang naman pala yung kailangan e. ... tapos yun pa yung bagay na hindi ko maibigay.
... pero naging okay rin naman e. ...
WE'RE SSSOOOO BAAAACCCCKKK!!!!
siguro kailangan ko nang itago yung trust issues sa top shelf drawer ko.
it's not like makaka apekto yung personal na buhay ko sa national security ...
resulution ko siguro para sa susunod na sem ... mas maging open. ... sort of.

-------------------------------------------------------------
ewan ko kung pangit ba 'to pakinggan or what ... but i'll say it anyway.
naging masaya rin ako. ... ngayon ko lang naranasan yung pakiramdam na na a appreciate ng ganito. ... or baka ako lang yung nakakaisip nun ... (well, if that's the case ... hayaan nyo na muna 'ko sa pantasya ko.)
nasanay lang siguro ako na ako yung invisible at insignificant na tao...

mahal ko talaga 'tong crowd na 'to ... well, ndi crowd yung tamang term e. ... FAMILY.
oo mahal ko rin yung mga high school friends ko, sobrang mahal ko rin yung D12 ...
alam kong hindi magandang mag compare pero ... so far ... sa JS[insert # here]A ako pinaka ..... at home. ... ndi ko alam kung dahil lang ba sila yung kasama ko ngayon or what ... basta ang alam ko lang masaya ako.

masayang masaya talaga.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

para naman sa isang bagay na sobrang out of topic pero gusto na rin isama sa iisang post:

ano bang ginawa nya sayo?
nakaka worry yung 360 degree turn ng paniniwala mo.
naaalala ko dati, ikaw dyan yung sobrang optimistic sa mga bagay na ganito.
anong nangyari???

alam mo kung ano pang mas nakakabahala?
hindi ka aware ... alam kong inevitable ang pagbabago ... pero ... kilala kita e.
hindi ikaw yung tipo ng taong magbabago ng ganyan ... namimiss ko yung optimism mo.

akala mo natatakot ka para sken ... pero sa totoo lang natatakot ka para sa sarili mo.
and it's worrying me. ... alam ko malaki ka na rin. kayang kaya mo sarili mo ... pero.
ewan ko. ... hindi na 'ko katulad ng dati ... ndi na 'ko yung nagmamarunong mong kaibigan na feeling nya maayos nya lahat. ... sobrang stupid ko para isipin yun.

hindi ko nga maayos yung sarili ko e. ... matagal ko nang alam na may mali ... pero hanggang ngayon di ko pa rin matukoy kung ano yun. ...
ano na bang gagawin nten sa mga sarili nten ha?

tara, talon na lang kaya tayo sa building?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ang problema ... na pre-predict ko na kung anong mangyayari sa buhay ko.
nagawa ko na 'to dati e. ... my life now is everything i expected it to be ...
this, however, is not what i've hoped for.

masaya na kung sa masaya ...
kaso kulang e. ...

sani ni booth .... insanity is when you keep on doing the same thing and expect for different outcome. ....

FUCK!!!

i know what my problem is .....


I'M INSANE!!!!

gusto ko matulog ng isang taon ....
gutso kong maghanap ng gamot para sa self induced coma.

hindi pala .... gawin na nating 2 taon .... or 5 ... or 10.
ewan ko. ...

napapagod ako.

napapagod ako kahit wala naman akong ibang ginawa kundi magpahinga ...
o baka naman napapagod aq sa kakapahinga????








Wednesday, October 13, 2010

sorry for the TYPOs


"in using coded messages you have to be very careful.
make it to easy and the message will be out for everyone to get,
make it too complex ... then you'll be talking to yourself."
-Michael Westen-
(Burn Notice)

g4q s4 t45 r5eb t45e 8t8a de4n 7 e4n7br9x fk7e8?
g4q s4 t45 e9s rg8 a45bs 4d 7 c49x8 t45's jb4q 7btqg8e8 ...

g4q s4 t45 de88 t45e a45k, 7dr8e t45'c8 d45bs 7 de98bs?
g4q s4 t45 r87xg t45e g87er 9r'a 7 xe9n8 r4 d7kk 9b k4c8 7f79n?

q8kk t45 oe4v7vkt q4b'r e8n8nv8e 7bs 9r'a oe4v7vkt 9b 7bx98br g9ar4et
9'n 4b8 4d rg8 xg4a8b d8q qg4 q8br 7g8s 7bs dwkk d4e t45.
45r 4d 7kk rg8 7n45bt 4d r45xh, 9 d8kk t44 d7ar 9 d88k r44 n5xg ...

9 rg45fgr rg7r t45 n9fgr g7c8 a4n8 7sc9x8 r4 f9cw 4b g4q r4 v8 9ba8ba9r9c8.....

q4q ... t45 e87s 9r ... 9'n r54xgws.


rg8 p49br g8e8 9a ...

at4o f9c9bf n8 7q7t ...
9 jb4q t45 s4b'r k4c9 n8 ... q8kk 7r k87ar b4r rg7r q7t ...

7btrg9bf d8e t45e x4bc8b98x8 g5g?

9'n t45e de98bs r44 ... ok87a8 ar4o f9c9bf n8 7q7t
9r g4era k9jw g8kk qg8b t45 s4 rg7r.






Thursday, October 7, 2010

random BLAHs in bullet form

  • I feel bad for a friend
    • It’s not worth it.
    • I can’t help ___ if ___ won’t let me.
  • another friend’s having the same problem I had
    • Funny how I give ___ advice
      • I can’t do it either : D
  • Talked to my best friend twice this week.
    • That’s kind of amazing. Given the hectic sched and all.
    • She knows me too well.
      • I can’t lie to her anymore.
  • a friend from Singapore is here in manila
    • she’ll be here only for 5 days
    • won’t get the chance to see her
      • it sucks
  • I have a fan page
    • WHAT THE FU**????!?!???!?!
  • Nanowrimo’s in a couple of weeks
    • I’m so excited I don’t even have a solid plot yet.
    • My stories are kinda lame
  • All of a sudden his weirdness isn’t cute anymore
    • maybe he just lost his appeal on me.
    • Why the fuck do they [he and his friends] have to address each other sa SIR????
      • Seriously???????!!!!????!
  • Mama mary is here in my home.
    • BLOCK IMAGE ROSARY :d
  • Glee made me cry
    • I really love kurt and his father’s relationship.
  • I wanna watch yentil again.
    • Papa can you hear me??
    • Weak one moment, Then the next I'm fine. I feel as if I’m falling every time I close my eyes ….
    • I love Barbara streisand
  • I caught myself stalking. HAHA
    • It was funny
    • I’m not affected anymore
      • But … I’m laughing.. So I guess I am a little affected.
      • But not really
  • THIS BLAH! Is really useless
    • Yup I agree. :D
  • I AM HAPPY
    • Don’t know why either …
    • Can’t stop smiling
      • This is all Bones’ fault!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

not your superman


i said i'm done being your superman ...
but how i could i ... when I've never been your superman to begin with.
it's funny how I've always thought that i should be protecting you ...
when you were and still are way stronger than i am.

you can take care of yourself ... yeah ... you've said that before ... see what happened???
i know i don't have any right whatsoever to tell you how you should live your life ...
but GOD! ... what are you doing to yourself???

.... BLAH! i'm over reacting. i'm over reacting. i'm over reacting!!!!

i'm taking it all back ...
fine, ... wear what you want to wear take pictures if you want ... and for the love of God ... yes ... do post them on whatever social networking site you like.

i haven't seen you in a long time ... of course you will change.
who the fuck am i to say that it's not you anymore??
you're you and you're my friend ... i should respect whatever you want to do with your life.

after all ... i still have an awful lot of mess of my own. ...

...

i don't know ...

it's just ....

it's funny.... despite knowing now how much of a weakling i am .... i still feel like i should protect you. ... but fact is ... i can't.

I was so conceited to think that i am some kind of a superman .... your superman.
i can't fight your war ... why did i ever think that i can save you? ... how could i when i can't even win a battle between me and myself?
and i never will.


CRAP! I REALLY AM SO SO OVER REACTING.

just ... please take care of yourself.