i DID love you.
you WERE once important for me.
but now ..... *sigh*
all those happy times i HAD with you ... those WERE real
i can't take them back anymore ...
i don't want to.
those were precious memories.
i'll just keep them in my box and put it on the top of my closet.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
3, 2, 1 action!!! ...... cut!
when i see it in the movies it seems so cool.
but in real life ... it's far from being cool.
it's just weird and scary and .... i dont know ...
a scene that is SSSOOOO movie-like ...
nah! doesn't feel right ...
the thing is ... even if it is FOR A FACT happening already
right there ... in front of me ... i just can't convince myself that maybe
just maybe ... there's a chance that it could be real.
if this is a movie i should AND I WOULD be in cloud 9.
but it's not.
if this is like a movie or something ...
i want it to be shortfilm ...
just leave me with that 2 minutes ...
i'm happy with that .... and maybe just replay it over and over
til i get tired of it ... then i'll throw it away ...
but in real life ... it's far from being cool.
it's just weird and scary and .... i dont know ...
a scene that is SSSOOOO movie-like ...
nah! doesn't feel right ...
the thing is ... even if it is FOR A FACT happening already
right there ... in front of me ... i just can't convince myself that maybe
just maybe ... there's a chance that it could be real.
if this is a movie i should AND I WOULD be in cloud 9.
but it's not.
if this is like a movie or something ...
i want it to be shortfilm ...
just leave me with that 2 minutes ...
i'm happy with that .... and maybe just replay it over and over
til i get tired of it ... then i'll throw it away ...
Friday, January 23, 2009
DEAR GOD,
jusko lord ... ano ba nmn po ba tong pakiramdam na to
una ... ung KAPATID KO PO parang gusto na qng ipako sa krus dahil sa pag gawa q ng thesis.
lord ang sakit nya pong mag salita ... konting-konti na lng papatulan ko na sya!!!
grabe po kse lord, isinusumpa nya q dahil hindi sya nakapag YM ... lord patnubayan nyo po sana ako. ipaalala nyo po sana sakin na sermon lang ang aabutin ko pag pumatol ako.
patnubayan nyo rin po sana ako sa pag gawa ng report na dapat ko sanang ginagawa ngaun. good luck po sa group nmen bukas. naway gabayan nyo po kme sa subject ng inyong propeta.
LORD GOD kinakabahan na po ako ... bakit ganun, ... bakit nmn po bakit???
iiwas na po ba ako??? ah ewan ... bsta po God as of now wla akong naiintindihan.
isa nanaman po bang pagkakamali 'to? ... hay! isang desperate attempt para itama ang mali pero ang ending lalong nagka-gulo ...
.... lahat ng ayaw ko andun po GOD, pero somehow feeling trapped na q ... unti unti na nga po aqng nka2ahon sa trap na napuntahan ko sinalubong naman ako ng isa pa. naiwasan q pero may isa nanaman po ulit .... at iniiwasan ko pa nga lang po ung isa ayan nanaman may trap nanaman ... pano ko po ba malalaman kung hindi trap ang nsa likod ng pinto na yan???
nakakatakot po e.
mag aalas tres na po GOD ... at hanggang ngaun di ko pa po memorize ang vission/mission ng school nmen ... at wla pa rin po aqng kaalam alam tungkol sa report nmen ....
tpos dumadagdag pa po sa sakit ng ulo ko yung kadramahan ng kapatid ko .... LORD PLEASE! ...
anyway,
sorry nga po pla sa lahat ng nagawa kong kasalanan sa earth at
thank you nga po pla sa lahat ng blessings ... LOVE U PO!!!!! U'RE THE BEST!!!!!!!!
love,
mimi
una ... ung KAPATID KO PO parang gusto na qng ipako sa krus dahil sa pag gawa q ng thesis.
lord ang sakit nya pong mag salita ... konting-konti na lng papatulan ko na sya!!!
grabe po kse lord, isinusumpa nya q dahil hindi sya nakapag YM ... lord patnubayan nyo po sana ako. ipaalala nyo po sana sakin na sermon lang ang aabutin ko pag pumatol ako.
patnubayan nyo rin po sana ako sa pag gawa ng report na dapat ko sanang ginagawa ngaun. good luck po sa group nmen bukas. naway gabayan nyo po kme sa subject ng inyong propeta.
LORD GOD kinakabahan na po ako ... bakit ganun, ... bakit nmn po bakit???
iiwas na po ba ako??? ah ewan ... bsta po God as of now wla akong naiintindihan.
isa nanaman po bang pagkakamali 'to? ... hay! isang desperate attempt para itama ang mali pero ang ending lalong nagka-gulo ...
.... lahat ng ayaw ko andun po GOD, pero somehow feeling trapped na q ... unti unti na nga po aqng nka2ahon sa trap na napuntahan ko sinalubong naman ako ng isa pa. naiwasan q pero may isa nanaman po ulit .... at iniiwasan ko pa nga lang po ung isa ayan nanaman may trap nanaman ... pano ko po ba malalaman kung hindi trap ang nsa likod ng pinto na yan???
nakakatakot po e.
mag aalas tres na po GOD ... at hanggang ngaun di ko pa po memorize ang vission/mission ng school nmen ... at wla pa rin po aqng kaalam alam tungkol sa report nmen ....
tpos dumadagdag pa po sa sakit ng ulo ko yung kadramahan ng kapatid ko .... LORD PLEASE! ...
anyway,
sorry nga po pla sa lahat ng nagawa kong kasalanan sa earth at
thank you nga po pla sa lahat ng blessings ... LOVE U PO!!!!! U'RE THE BEST!!!!!!!!
love,
mimi
Monday, January 19, 2009
tasty, tasty plain lugaw
where was i 2 years ago? JANUARY 19, 2007, friday, 4:30 pm
... probably here with my friends in this PARES eating, laughing, talking about our annoying teachers and classmates ...
or maybe worrying about our project in economics or thinking about what course to take, stressing ourselves with college entrance examinations ... and some of us .... *smirk* just didn't care ....
2 years ago I was here in the exact same date, the exact same time but in a different seat (a group of high school bitches is in our spot) .... it's almost 5pm by this time we're probably done eating. probably fixing our things and sharing the last drop of gossips in our mouth .... but hasn't paid yet.
just like the old times, the crews are making fun of each other ... even with customers around. (i remember some of them ... means they've been here for 2 years already haha they deserve a loyalty award!) it's easy to figure out which one of them had been here for a long time. the faded caps with their names on it pretty much tells it all.
i ordered the usual, i don't even have to look at the menu ...
"plain lugaw at tokwa po (smile)"
the tasty, tasty plain lugaw ...
it's not the same anymore ... it doesn't taste as good as before.
it doesn't taste as good without the laughter, without the gossips, without my FRIENDS!
a group of bithces is on our favorite spot ... where we used to pull the tables together so we can eat in our "BIG HAPPY TABLE" ...
those were good times ....
happy memories ....
*sigh* ... but i don't know ... just thinking about it ... umm, kinda hurts me.
makes me sad ...
it hurts so bad ..... it stings .... right here ..... in the heart.
i don't know is it because i saw a former classmate and he didn't recognize me.
or i visited my old school and it felt weird ...
i don't really know why i'm being emoish about this stuff ....
all i know is
I WANT MY TASTY PLAIN LUGAW BACK. I WANT THE LAUGHTER, I WANT THE STORIES, I WANT SIR ELEM'S SERMONS... I JUST WANT MY HIGH SCHOOL BACK!!!
where everything is fun, less stress, no research papers, no nothing ...
i just want my decent sleep back. my tv series ... phone conversations, get togethers ...
... maybe i'm just thinking too much ... maybe i'm just over reacting ...
hahahaha
i'm whining again .... this is my guilty pleasure
... probably here with my friends in this PARES eating, laughing, talking about our annoying teachers and classmates ...
or maybe worrying about our project in economics or thinking about what course to take, stressing ourselves with college entrance examinations ... and some of us .... *smirk* just didn't care ....
2 years ago I was here in the exact same date, the exact same time but in a different seat (a group of high school bitches is in our spot) .... it's almost 5pm by this time we're probably done eating. probably fixing our things and sharing the last drop of gossips in our mouth .... but hasn't paid yet.
just like the old times, the crews are making fun of each other ... even with customers around. (i remember some of them ... means they've been here for 2 years already haha they deserve a loyalty award!) it's easy to figure out which one of them had been here for a long time. the faded caps with their names on it pretty much tells it all.
i ordered the usual, i don't even have to look at the menu ...
"plain lugaw at tokwa po (smile)"
the tasty, tasty plain lugaw ...
it's not the same anymore ... it doesn't taste as good as before.
it doesn't taste as good without the laughter, without the gossips, without my FRIENDS!
a group of bithces is on our favorite spot ... where we used to pull the tables together so we can eat in our "BIG HAPPY TABLE" ...
those were good times ....
happy memories ....
*sigh* ... but i don't know ... just thinking about it ... umm, kinda hurts me.
makes me sad ...
it hurts so bad ..... it stings .... right here ..... in the heart.
i don't know is it because i saw a former classmate and he didn't recognize me.
or i visited my old school and it felt weird ...
i don't really know why i'm being emoish about this stuff ....
all i know is
I WANT MY TASTY PLAIN LUGAW BACK. I WANT THE LAUGHTER, I WANT THE STORIES, I WANT SIR ELEM'S SERMONS... I JUST WANT MY HIGH SCHOOL BACK!!!
where everything is fun, less stress, no research papers, no nothing ...
i just want my decent sleep back. my tv series ... phone conversations, get togethers ...
... maybe i'm just thinking too much ... maybe i'm just over reacting ...
hahahaha
i'm whining again .... this is my guilty pleasure
Sunday, January 18, 2009
beer magic
All our files were corrupted ….
Hindi maganda yung pag pasok ng taon sken. Ung first 2 weeks parang isang episode ng pira-pirasong pangarap (kng familiar sayo yang palabas na yan ang tanda mo na!)
Anyway, tapos sa yung chapter na un sa mga buhay buhay namin. Kumain kami sa kainan ni manong pepe. At dahil kasama namin si vince tumador na apo ng aming dean. Ayun ung merienda nauwi sa beer.
Mejo late na kong naka-uwi sarado na halos lahat ng mga tindahan, kahit ung commonwealth market sarado na …. Sa mga panahong ganito nagsisimula na ‘kong kabahan … pero thanks to some of my dear friends … nawawala un, all I have to is think about what they’ve said
Flashback …
highschool friend: alam mo friend ok ka na sana e’ … wla lng tlga sa looks.
College friend: ilang taon ka nmn nung nagging aware ka na pangit ka pla?
Highschool friends (girls): weh! Cams kuya mo un???, ndi nga … e BAKIT gwapo?
Highschool friend (boy#1): oi pare nakita mo mo ung ate ni Camille … hindi nya kamukha.
HS friend (boy#2): o? maganda maganda?
HS friend (boy#1): oo pare maganda, …. Oi Camille pakilala mo nmn kme.
Close friend: (uuwi aq ng sobrang late na) mag ka mag alala wla nmng mag iinteres sayo e.
dating crush: alam mo ba na ikaw yung pangalawa sa pinaka pangit dto sa buong
school? ...ay ndi pla ... pangatlo lng.
HS classmate: ka ano-ano mo ung nsa jeep?
aq: pinsan q
HS classmate: weh?? ndi nga??? bakit ang ganda???
Somehow these words never fail to make me feel safe …. Anywhere!
That’s why I love them … they can say these things to me without hurting my feelings (seriously …. wlang halong sarcasm)
Mura lang ang burger sa plaza kaya bumili aq ng isa pag baba q sa jeep. Umuwi akong gutom na gutom, antok na antok, mukhang basura at amoy burger. Pero ok lng masaya nmn aq e. .. kse ok na ung happy place ko.
Nung papunta na q sa may volleyball court, dun sa makipot na daanan na un may nka salubong aqng dalawang guy. Ung isa dire-direcho kaya aq na lng ung tumabi sa gilid. Ung isa nkaharang sa daan q tpos nakatingin lang …
Iniisip ko kung kakilala ko ba sya noon … so nakipag titigan naman aq, nung na realize q na ndi q tlga xa kilala, nag overtake na q(ayos prang kotse lng).
Pgkalagpas q sakanya
xa: HI! (smile)
Aq: (lumingon) hi rin. (smile din)
Lumakad na q … lumakad na rin xa. At dahil gutom na gutom na tlga q sinalpak q ung kalahati ng burger sa bugnganga q. at nagpatuloy sa paglalakad.
Tpos … bumalik xa …
xa: ay, ate … ano nga pla name mo?
Aq: hmmm? (ano? ate???? nguya nguya nguya …. Lunok) ano … Camille.
xa: ahhh, tga san ka?
Aq: edi dto
Xa:saan?
Aq:bsta malapit lng.
Xa: anong block?
Aq: (ha? Hala anong block???) … ummm 51
Xa: anong street?
Aq: (anong street??? Ano ba to? Modus?) hala hehehe bket mo tnatanong? Bsta dun dun
lng.
xa: ummm, ano .... ah ... bka pwedeng ano .... uhmm, mayaya kang mag simba minsan.
aq: (natawa)
xa: ay!, roman catholic ka ba?
aq: oo (natatawa pa rin)
xa: ay! sorry, kng may magagalit ok lng kng ayaw mo ...
aq: hindi aq nagsisimba e. minsan lng ... uhmm, cge cge nice meeting you na lng.
gabi na q e.
lumakad na ulit aq ... lumakad na rin xa.
ung kasama nya: hoy! halika na! ano ka ba!
xa: ay sandali
xa: ay ano ...
aq:(lumingon ulit) hmm?
xa: aq nga pla si mikael (handshake)
aq: ok nice meeting you ... cge ba-bye.
xa: pare! block 51 daw.
ayun mula sa gitna ng volleyball court hanggang sa gate nmen ang laki ng ngiti q. hehehe nkakahiya mang aminin, pero high na high aq sa flattery. hehehehe kse akala ko imposibleng may cute na taong mag a approach sken ng ganun .... hahaha lalo na nung panahong mukha na nga aqng basura amoy burger pa.
ndi kaya mahilig lng tlga xa sa burger? ... di kaya magic lng ng beer un? ... o sadyang madilim lng nun????
naisip ko nga ... tae pano kng napag tripan lng pala q nun? ... hehehehe yaan mo nga xa!!! e ano nmn at least npangiti aq mula sa plaza hanggang sa gate nmen, ndi nya nmn alam na flatter tlga q e whahahaahahah ... trip trip man o hindi ndi nmn na mababawi un e ... dba? ...
tulad nga ng sinasabi q .... ok lng na mag assume ka kung minsan .... bsta secret lng para kng ndi
man totoo ... at least ndi ka mapapahiya .... hehehe aliw!
tpos masaya ka pa! o dba!
- ayoko sa bolero dahil madali akong bolahin -
wahahahahahahaahahha!!!!!!
Hindi maganda yung pag pasok ng taon sken. Ung first 2 weeks parang isang episode ng pira-pirasong pangarap (kng familiar sayo yang palabas na yan ang tanda mo na!)
Anyway, tapos sa yung chapter na un sa mga buhay buhay namin. Kumain kami sa kainan ni manong pepe. At dahil kasama namin si vince tumador na apo ng aming dean. Ayun ung merienda nauwi sa beer.
Mejo late na kong naka-uwi sarado na halos lahat ng mga tindahan, kahit ung commonwealth market sarado na …. Sa mga panahong ganito nagsisimula na ‘kong kabahan … pero thanks to some of my dear friends … nawawala un, all I have to is think about what they’ve said
Flashback …
highschool friend: alam mo friend ok ka na sana e’ … wla lng tlga sa looks.
College friend: ilang taon ka nmn nung nagging aware ka na pangit ka pla?
Highschool friends (girls): weh! Cams kuya mo un???, ndi nga … e BAKIT gwapo?
Highschool friend (boy#1): oi pare nakita mo mo ung ate ni Camille … hindi nya kamukha.
HS friend (boy#2): o? maganda maganda?
HS friend (boy#1): oo pare maganda, …. Oi Camille pakilala mo nmn kme.
Close friend: (uuwi aq ng sobrang late na) mag ka mag alala wla nmng mag iinteres sayo e.
dating crush: alam mo ba na ikaw yung pangalawa sa pinaka pangit dto sa buong
school? ...ay ndi pla ... pangatlo lng.
HS classmate: ka ano-ano mo ung nsa jeep?
aq: pinsan q
HS classmate: weh?? ndi nga??? bakit ang ganda???
Somehow these words never fail to make me feel safe …. Anywhere!
That’s why I love them … they can say these things to me without hurting my feelings (seriously …. wlang halong sarcasm)
Mura lang ang burger sa plaza kaya bumili aq ng isa pag baba q sa jeep. Umuwi akong gutom na gutom, antok na antok, mukhang basura at amoy burger. Pero ok lng masaya nmn aq e. .. kse ok na ung happy place ko.
Nung papunta na q sa may volleyball court, dun sa makipot na daanan na un may nka salubong aqng dalawang guy. Ung isa dire-direcho kaya aq na lng ung tumabi sa gilid. Ung isa nkaharang sa daan q tpos nakatingin lang …
Iniisip ko kung kakilala ko ba sya noon … so nakipag titigan naman aq, nung na realize q na ndi q tlga xa kilala, nag overtake na q(ayos prang kotse lng).
Pgkalagpas q sakanya
xa: HI! (smile)
Aq: (lumingon) hi rin. (smile din)
Lumakad na q … lumakad na rin xa. At dahil gutom na gutom na tlga q sinalpak q ung kalahati ng burger sa bugnganga q. at nagpatuloy sa paglalakad.
Tpos … bumalik xa …
xa: ay, ate … ano nga pla name mo?
Aq: hmmm? (ano? ate???? nguya nguya nguya …. Lunok) ano … Camille.
xa: ahhh, tga san ka?
Aq: edi dto
Xa:saan?
Aq:bsta malapit lng.
Xa: anong block?
Aq: (ha? Hala anong block???) … ummm 51
Xa: anong street?
Aq: (anong street??? Ano ba to? Modus?) hala hehehe bket mo tnatanong? Bsta dun dun
lng.
xa: ummm, ano .... ah ... bka pwedeng ano .... uhmm, mayaya kang mag simba minsan.
aq: (natawa)
xa: ay!, roman catholic ka ba?
aq: oo (natatawa pa rin)
xa: ay! sorry, kng may magagalit ok lng kng ayaw mo ...
aq: hindi aq nagsisimba e. minsan lng ... uhmm, cge cge nice meeting you na lng.
gabi na q e.
lumakad na ulit aq ... lumakad na rin xa.
ung kasama nya: hoy! halika na! ano ka ba!
xa: ay sandali
xa: ay ano ...
aq:(lumingon ulit) hmm?
xa: aq nga pla si mikael (handshake)
aq: ok nice meeting you ... cge ba-bye.
xa: pare! block 51 daw.
ayun mula sa gitna ng volleyball court hanggang sa gate nmen ang laki ng ngiti q. hehehe nkakahiya mang aminin, pero high na high aq sa flattery. hehehehe kse akala ko imposibleng may cute na taong mag a approach sken ng ganun .... hahaha lalo na nung panahong mukha na nga aqng basura amoy burger pa.
ndi kaya mahilig lng tlga xa sa burger? ... di kaya magic lng ng beer un? ... o sadyang madilim lng nun????
naisip ko nga ... tae pano kng napag tripan lng pala q nun? ... hehehehe yaan mo nga xa!!! e ano nmn at least npangiti aq mula sa plaza hanggang sa gate nmen, ndi nya nmn alam na flatter tlga q e whahahaahahah ... trip trip man o hindi ndi nmn na mababawi un e ... dba? ...
tulad nga ng sinasabi q .... ok lng na mag assume ka kung minsan .... bsta secret lng para kng ndi
man totoo ... at least ndi ka mapapahiya .... hehehe aliw!
tpos masaya ka pa! o dba!
- ayoko sa bolero dahil madali akong bolahin -
wahahahahahahaahahha!!!!!!
Friday, January 9, 2009
let alcohol wash it off?
when people are depressed they say that there are a lot of things you could do to make yourself feel better ... here are some
1. cry - i've done that already ... after hours and hours of crying there i was with swollen eyes, still sick ... and yeah still depressed. TAKTEMBUHAYAN!
2.eat - NOT A VERY GOOD ADVICE.
3.shop - hmmmm, sounds good ... kaso lampera e'
4.have a haircut - HINDI TOTOO ... haist! badtrip!
5..drink - i dont drink but what the hell! ... i think its time for me to try it
besides, ITS FREE.
when i got home papa said that they were going to a bar with my aunts and cousins. then he asked me if i wanna come. on normal circumsatnces i would say "no i'll pass"
kaso iba ngaun e.
"nak gusto mo ba ng beer?" hahaha ilang tatay ba nagtatanong nyan sa mga bunso nilang babae? ... i said "ayoko po ng beer" ... gulat sya e' ... so he orderd a drink for me. i dont know what it's called but whatever.
ayun mapait hahaha pero ok lang masarap din naman. since ndi nmn tlga ako marunong uminom, ndi q alam na paunti-unti pala ang pag inom nun ...
"nak pa unti unti lng inom jan ah! di yan binibigla" ... hahaha too late father dear.
mauubos na nga e'. ubos na xa! ... kaya ayun namulutan na lang aq at dahil sa anghang ng sisig nila napilitan akong mag beer dahil un ang nasa table nmen.
WOW! MASARAP PALA ANG VODKA CRUISER NA BLUEBERRY
parang softdrinks lng! ... ndi ko na namamalayan ung pag inom ko. ang ganda kasi ng boses ni Rannie Raymundo lalo na nung kinanta nya ung why can't it be. cge inom nmn ako ng inom tpos papalakpak dun sa kumakanta, pag tingin q sa bote q ... ay ubos na, pag daan ng waiter "kuya isa pa po nito" ... picture dito, inom doon, kanta jan ... for a while nakalimutan q na depressed nga pla q.
all i know is at that time i'm hanging out with my cousins, my parents, aunts, uncles ... all i know is I AM having so much fun. for a while i forgot what problem means. i had so much fun i wish i could just stay in that state forever.
anyway, so un nga inom pa rin aq ng inom. then binulungan ako ng papa q "nak langya akala q ba d ka umiinom" ... kaya ndi na q umorder ng isa pa. ... nakiinom na lng aq sa pinsan q. ... nung pauwi na kme tinanong aq ng ate q kung may tama na daw ako ...
pero, pano ko nga ba malalaman kung may tama na nga aq ... pag ba inantok na q, nahilo or nasuka? ... kse so far di q pa nararamdaman ung mga un? ... at nsa katinuan pa rin aq para mag post ngaun ... pero dahil ma lo-low batt na tong laptop na to ... i doubt kung ma ipost ko to ngaun hahaha buti na may auto save ... bukas q na lang cguro ipo-post pag gising ko.
....
so past 2 kme naka uwi nagising aq ng 7am at nag research sa memo plus gold
... depressed ulit ...
*sigh
i'm just terribly missing someone right now ...
... i regret a lot of things if could undo them i would ...
but all i can do right now is to just say that ... IM SO SO SORRY AND I REALLY REALLY REALLY
MISS YOU SO MUCH!!!
i guess alcohol can't really wash the pain off
... can it?
1. cry - i've done that already ... after hours and hours of crying there i was with swollen eyes, still sick ... and yeah still depressed. TAKTEMBUHAYAN!
2.eat - NOT A VERY GOOD ADVICE.
3.shop - hmmmm, sounds good ... kaso lampera e'
4.have a haircut - HINDI TOTOO ... haist! badtrip!
5..drink - i dont drink but what the hell! ... i think its time for me to try it
besides, ITS FREE.
when i got home papa said that they were going to a bar with my aunts and cousins. then he asked me if i wanna come. on normal circumsatnces i would say "no i'll pass"
kaso iba ngaun e.
"nak gusto mo ba ng beer?" hahaha ilang tatay ba nagtatanong nyan sa mga bunso nilang babae? ... i said "ayoko po ng beer" ... gulat sya e' ... so he orderd a drink for me. i dont know what it's called but whatever.
ayun mapait hahaha pero ok lang masarap din naman. since ndi nmn tlga ako marunong uminom, ndi q alam na paunti-unti pala ang pag inom nun ...
"nak pa unti unti lng inom jan ah! di yan binibigla" ... hahaha too late father dear.
mauubos na nga e'. ubos na xa! ... kaya ayun namulutan na lang aq at dahil sa anghang ng sisig nila napilitan akong mag beer dahil un ang nasa table nmen.
WOW! MASARAP PALA ANG VODKA CRUISER NA BLUEBERRY
parang softdrinks lng! ... ndi ko na namamalayan ung pag inom ko. ang ganda kasi ng boses ni Rannie Raymundo lalo na nung kinanta nya ung why can't it be. cge inom nmn ako ng inom tpos papalakpak dun sa kumakanta, pag tingin q sa bote q ... ay ubos na, pag daan ng waiter "kuya isa pa po nito" ... picture dito, inom doon, kanta jan ... for a while nakalimutan q na depressed nga pla q.
all i know is at that time i'm hanging out with my cousins, my parents, aunts, uncles ... all i know is I AM having so much fun. for a while i forgot what problem means. i had so much fun i wish i could just stay in that state forever.
anyway, so un nga inom pa rin aq ng inom. then binulungan ako ng papa q "nak langya akala q ba d ka umiinom" ... kaya ndi na q umorder ng isa pa. ... nakiinom na lng aq sa pinsan q. ... nung pauwi na kme tinanong aq ng ate q kung may tama na daw ako ...
pero, pano ko nga ba malalaman kung may tama na nga aq ... pag ba inantok na q, nahilo or nasuka? ... kse so far di q pa nararamdaman ung mga un? ... at nsa katinuan pa rin aq para mag post ngaun ... pero dahil ma lo-low batt na tong laptop na to ... i doubt kung ma ipost ko to ngaun hahaha buti na may auto save ... bukas q na lang cguro ipo-post pag gising ko.
....
so past 2 kme naka uwi nagising aq ng 7am at nag research sa memo plus gold
... depressed ulit ...
*sigh
i'm just terribly missing someone right now ...
... i regret a lot of things if could undo them i would ...
but all i can do right now is to just say that ... IM SO SO SORRY AND I REALLY REALLY REALLY
MISS YOU SO MUCH!!!
i guess alcohol can't really wash the pain off
... can it?
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Thank you .....
whenever i call you're always:
washing the dishes
washing everybody's clothes
sleeping
talking to a chinese
taking care of your nephew ...
that sucks!
in our reunion you didn't come!
i started to think that i'm losing you.
i'm losing my bestfriend
over the plates
the clothes
and some chinese guy ...
but now you're here ...
no matter how late it is you're here
you're listening ... and that made everything ok.
just talking to you, just hearing your voice ...
thank you bestfriend ...
you never fail to surprise me
washing the dishes
washing everybody's clothes
sleeping
talking to a chinese
taking care of your nephew ...
that sucks!
in our reunion you didn't come!
i started to think that i'm losing you.
i'm losing my bestfriend
over the plates
the clothes
and some chinese guy ...
but now you're here ...
no matter how late it is you're here
you're listening ... and that made everything ok.
just talking to you, just hearing your voice ...
thank you bestfriend ...
you never fail to surprise me
Monday, January 5, 2009
my damn attempt to let them know
dapat talaga sa friendster blog 'to naka post ...
i don't know ... for some freaking reason ayaw tanggapin ng lintik na friendster yung post ko.
fuck them! ewan ko ba ....
pano ba ko unti-unting magpapakilala sa mga taong nakasama ko sa paglaki ko???
ang ironic kasi of all people .... pamilya ko pa ang hindi nakakakilala sakin
anyway .... ito na yun
COPIED and PASTED
....
it will all start here
e ano kung mabasa mo nga to kung sino ka man?
that’s exactly the essence of blogging right?
to freaking EXPRESS your g** damned self …
i’ve had this friendster blog since i dont know … a miliion years? … but i cant fucking post anything …
WHY??
look at my friends list and you’ll have your answer.
my cousins, uncles, aunts, former teachers, different set of friends … everyone is just there.
when i’m with my family i’m a different person
when i’m with my high school friends i’m a different person
when i’m with my college buddies i’m a totally different person …
i just dont know how to act in front of them … some may say that this is just a simple case of beng plastic
well, to mr. or ms. SOME go burn yourselves in hell!!! or put a damn plastic on your head and freaking suffocate yourselves to death!!! just back off damn!
to anyone who’ll be offended … sorry … but it’s your fault anyway … why are you taking time to read this shit … if you think it’s lame step out of this damn page!!!
i just don’t care anymore .. to anyone who’ll waste their time to read … by all means … fucking read it.
if i’ll freaking write for a living someday … what the fuck? why not let them read some of my stupid writings?
(to anyone in authority like an uncle, auntie or teacher perhaps … i’m sorry for my choice of words i didn’t mean to disrespect … it’s just that … if it’s not yet obvious … well i’m so damn upset right now)
right now all i care about is my damn self … coz stress balls doesn’t work anymore … and i know i’ll just snap any moment now!
i’m so fucking fed up with everything.
shitty deadlines, reports, upcoming debate, unwashed dishes, stormed bedroom, extra loud speakers, sore throat, damaged lungs, cold weather, smell of liquor … i don’t know …. i’m just so damn pissed about everything that crosses my senses …
maybe this is the reason why i dont want to sign up an account for my mom here in friendster … i dont want her to directly know how foul-mouthed her daughter is.
anyway …. it’ll all start here …
everything you gossip seekers want know about me (if there is) … try checking this blog out … maybe it’ll entertain you … make fun of freaking senselessness …. i just dont care anymore
i don't know ... for some freaking reason ayaw tanggapin ng lintik na friendster yung post ko.
fuck them! ewan ko ba ....
pano ba ko unti-unting magpapakilala sa mga taong nakasama ko sa paglaki ko???
ang ironic kasi of all people .... pamilya ko pa ang hindi nakakakilala sakin
anyway .... ito na yun
COPIED and PASTED
....
it will all start here
e ano kung mabasa mo nga to kung sino ka man?
that’s exactly the essence of blogging right?
to freaking EXPRESS your g** damned self …
i’ve had this friendster blog since i dont know … a miliion years? … but i cant fucking post anything …
WHY??
look at my friends list and you’ll have your answer.
my cousins, uncles, aunts, former teachers, different set of friends … everyone is just there.
when i’m with my family i’m a different person
when i’m with my high school friends i’m a different person
when i’m with my college buddies i’m a totally different person …
i just dont know how to act in front of them … some may say that this is just a simple case of beng plastic
well, to mr. or ms. SOME go burn yourselves in hell!!! or put a damn plastic on your head and freaking suffocate yourselves to death!!! just back off damn!
to anyone who’ll be offended … sorry … but it’s your fault anyway … why are you taking time to read this shit … if you think it’s lame step out of this damn page!!!
i just don’t care anymore .. to anyone who’ll waste their time to read … by all means … fucking read it.
if i’ll freaking write for a living someday … what the fuck? why not let them read some of my stupid writings?
(to anyone in authority like an uncle, auntie or teacher perhaps … i’m sorry for my choice of words i didn’t mean to disrespect … it’s just that … if it’s not yet obvious … well i’m so damn upset right now)
right now all i care about is my damn self … coz stress balls doesn’t work anymore … and i know i’ll just snap any moment now!
i’m so fucking fed up with everything.
shitty deadlines, reports, upcoming debate, unwashed dishes, stormed bedroom, extra loud speakers, sore throat, damaged lungs, cold weather, smell of liquor … i don’t know …. i’m just so damn pissed about everything that crosses my senses …
maybe this is the reason why i dont want to sign up an account for my mom here in friendster … i dont want her to directly know how foul-mouthed her daughter is.
anyway …. it’ll all start here …
everything you gossip seekers want know about me (if there is) … try checking this blog out … maybe it’ll entertain you … make fun of freaking senselessness …. i just dont care anymore
Saturday, January 3, 2009
trying to stay positive is so damn hard ... especially when you haven't been positive to start with
my crappy long titles and long blog entries ...
whining about small shitty things
I FUCKING HATE EVERY DAMN THING RIGHT NOW!!!
i hate that i'm whining again
i hate sounding so emoish
i hate it i hate it i hate it!!!
im trying to stay positive ...
it's so fucking funny ... trying to "STAY" positive
hahaha are you fucking kidding me???
that long bus ride gave me all the time to think, reflect, get hungry, get bored ... urgh!
then i realized ... all i ever did was to freaking whine about every bit of disastrous event in my damn life!!!
enough with the crap! ...
i'm not little miss sunshine
i dont have to smile about everything even if they suck!
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