let alcohol wash it off?

when people are depressed they say that there are a lot of things you could do to make yourself feel better ... here are some

1. cry - i've done that already ... after hours and hours of crying there i was with swollen eyes, still sick ... and yeah still depressed. TAKTEMBUHAYAN!

2.eat - NOT A VERY GOOD ADVICE.

3.shop - hmmmm, sounds good ... kaso lampera e'

4.have a haircut - HINDI TOTOO ... haist! badtrip!

5..drink - i dont drink but what the hell! ... i think its time for me to try it
besides, ITS FREE.

when i got home papa said that they were going to a bar with my aunts and cousins. then he asked me if i wanna come. on normal circumsatnces i would say "no i'll pass"
kaso iba ngaun e.

"nak gusto mo ba ng beer?" hahaha ilang tatay ba nagtatanong nyan sa mga bunso nilang babae? ... i said "ayoko po ng beer" ... gulat sya e' ... so he orderd a drink for me. i dont know what it's called but whatever.
ayun mapait hahaha pero ok lang masarap din naman. since ndi nmn tlga ako marunong uminom, ndi q alam na paunti-unti pala ang pag inom nun ...
"nak pa unti unti lng inom jan ah! di yan binibigla" ... hahaha too late father dear.
mauubos na nga e'. ubos na xa! ... kaya ayun namulutan na lang aq at dahil sa anghang ng sisig nila napilitan akong mag beer dahil un ang nasa table nmen.

WOW! MASARAP PALA ANG VODKA CRUISER NA BLUEBERRY

parang softdrinks lng! ... ndi ko na namamalayan ung pag inom ko. ang ganda kasi ng boses ni Rannie Raymundo lalo na nung kinanta nya ung why can't it be. cge inom nmn ako ng inom tpos papalakpak dun sa kumakanta, pag tingin q sa bote q ... ay ubos na, pag daan ng waiter "kuya isa pa po nito" ... picture dito, inom doon, kanta jan ... for a while nakalimutan q na depressed nga pla q.

all i know is at that time i'm hanging out with my cousins, my parents, aunts, uncles ... all i know is I AM having so much fun. for a while i forgot what problem means. i had so much fun i wish i could just stay in that state forever.

anyway, so un nga inom pa rin aq ng inom. then binulungan ako ng papa q "nak langya akala q ba d ka umiinom" ... kaya ndi na q umorder ng isa pa. ... nakiinom na lng aq sa pinsan q. ... nung pauwi na kme tinanong aq ng ate q kung may tama na daw ako ...

pero, pano ko nga ba malalaman kung may tama na nga aq ... pag ba inantok na q, nahilo or nasuka? ... kse so far di q pa nararamdaman ung mga un? ... at nsa katinuan pa rin aq para mag post ngaun ... pero dahil ma lo-low batt na tong laptop na to ... i doubt kung ma ipost ko to ngaun hahaha buti na may auto save ... bukas q na lang cguro ipo-post pag gising ko.

....

so past 2 kme naka uwi nagising aq ng 7am at nag research sa memo plus gold
... depressed ulit ...

*sigh

i'm just terribly missing someone right now ...

... i regret a lot of things if could undo them i would ...


but all i can do right now is to just say that ... IM SO SO SORRY AND I REALLY REALLY REALLY

MISS YOU SO MUCH!!!




i guess alcohol can't really wash the pain off

... can it?